Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Rightouslature

I snuck into my local tobacconist yesterday and heard a funny thing.

After I parked several stores away, looked like I was confused about where I was going and appeared to stumble into the Tinder Box across from Fashion Place Mall, I was safely inside. Luckily they have dark windows and lots of kitch in front so no one can see you.

I headed directly to the room sized humidor in the back to fondle some cigars. I mumbled "hi" to the clerk and spotted the door of the giant cigar keeper, when I was stopped by a stupid looking railing.

The railing barred entry to the humidor with the ominous warning "No One Under 19 Allowed". It was about three feet high with swinging gates strategically located about 5 feet from the door of the humidor so if you bolted for the entrance to cigar heaven you would probably be tackled by the elderly lady clerk before you were able to brake the plane of the "adults only" area.

I felt less embarrassed heading for the back room at the Blue Boutique (just kidding honey, I have never been there).

I confidently (after all I was 19 when Jimmy Carter was in office) strode thru the barrier and asked out loud, "what the heck is this?"

The kindly lady behind the counter said "That's the work of the Utah Rightouslature". I congratulated her on this keen observation and asked if I could use this name, after all it applies to so many more instances than just tobacco tax. She gladly granted me a lifetime, royalty free license to use this wonderful name for our esteemed law makers.

So I sit here, in the privacy of my back patio, smoking one of the last cigars in Utah unencumbered by the huge increase in taxes. I salute you mighty men and women of our law making body. If it weren't for you ,we, the poor humble populous, wouldn't know it wasn't right to be doing this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, or the heart of my bottom.

1 comment:

The Gearheads said...

And here I thought you had quit smoking.... This will come to mind next time we are sitting outside with the smokers.